I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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