You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
pray to the hookup gods
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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