all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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