You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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