Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
