You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
