I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
