have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
