She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
