it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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