we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
