I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You left your phone here
Wait...
So. Much. Porn.
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