I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
