i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
