she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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