He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
