just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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