I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
