I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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