nut hugger
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
COCAINE IS GR8
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
