I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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