I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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