Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
