Whod you bang
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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