they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
