Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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