in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
