i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
