Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
God, I missed his penis.
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