i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
