I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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