Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
