Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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