ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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