The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We left the knife in your bed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
