yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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