Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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