He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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