Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
