I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize