I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
