I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The beer is more important than you right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
