just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
