do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
