the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
