Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I believe in your delicious
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
