and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
