You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
