You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
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