dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
