After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
